I finished the goblin geometry and texturing, then put it through Mixamo's auto rig and animator.
Texturing:
animation:
It's far from perfect and I never did figure out how to get the loincloth to work, but because it's going to be so small and shadowed in the game I left it out.
I've struggled with deciding when a project or asset is 'done' for a long time now, but I've been learning lately that I need to prioritize my time and effort better. There is a lot with the geometry that I want to fix (like his ears,) and I only spent around an hour doing the texturing, and the rig doesn't quite line up correctly, but I needed to stop working on this so I can finish the rest of the models and my other projects. There is no point in creating a beautifully realistic goblin in this case, so it was an important lesson about making judgments and decisions based on the context of that asset. I know that I won't always be able to create perfect or detailed assets in the industry because of time/budget, and I think being able to look at the bigger picture and figure out what needs to be prioritized is a skill I should be developing more.
I realize now I've been way too slow with making this asset, (though there were a lot of external roadblocks that didn't help,) and I hope to be more aware of that as I make the wizard.
Lately, so many things have come together and allowed me to better see where my weaknesses are, and it's A LOT more uncomfortable than I initially imagined it would be. I feel like I work really hard and have a good work ethic, and though that's true, I was focusing too much on the technical skills I was lacking and didn't even notice that I struggled with critique / time management / finishing projects. I think a lot of it stems from personal and emotional barriers from mental illness and trauma, which means I need to continue working on those things if I want to improve my 3D skills. Who knew emotional and mental maturity affects my ability to make art!!!???
I have to toe a very fine line between pushing myself to get better and not beating myself up over every single (really big and really small) failure or mistake. I'm surrounded by so many talented people and I love my friends and classmates so much, but it's time I start recognizing that some of them started way ahead of me in terms of emotional intelligence and they were able to develop as an artist much faster than me as a result. It's not an excuse, but it's something that I need to accept if I'm to work towards a healthier and more professional attitude towards my work and art. It gets demoralizing sometimes; I don't want to "find one positive thing to say about my work," and "identify the value in a failure," while everyone else is making cool robots and bedrooms and alien landscapes and stuff.
It's a lot harder and there's not much for me to mentally grasp onto while I'm working on improving and developing these skills. "Make a goblin" is something I can easily measure my progress on, but "breaking down a perfectionist complex" doesn't really have a pipeline or a final product. And this is all hitting me at once, maybe because of quarantine or maybe because I'm starting to think about my thesis or maybe because I'm closing in on my senior year. I've also been keeping up with posting on this blog, which has always been more of a diary than anything else and making it so public is probably a REALLY bad idea, but it has been a huge help to put all my thoughts in one place while I'm stretched so thin between so many projects and so many teams. Regardless, I can't avoid or hide from these revelations when I so desperately want to see more progress in my art,
but it still sucks.
I guess this is adulthood. I know the foundation is there, I've already made so much progress since I started. I don't cry every time I can't figure something out in zbrush anymore!! But the distance I still have left to go is overwhelming to think about. It's probably quarantine throwing off my emotions, everyone seems to be going a little crazy. But I think (hope) I'm starting to make progress with all of this. I don't think I'll be able to find a job this summer because of everything that's going on with COVID-19, not even in retail or food service, but I'm looking forward to the opportunity to completely focus on my artistic and personal growth (and keep up the momentum with my Instagram and blog.)
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